Wonder why this job’s open, huh?

Remember the good old days when looking for a job consisted of brushing up your resume, targeting a few companies, and persisting till you got an interview — and the job? Let’s just say that sleeping and having a personal life seem to be a thing of the past, too, according to this job listing posted today on a certain site.

I’m not quite sure how anyone could come close to fulfilling this job description in anything less than the 24 hours a day we each get. Then again, with enough espresso, one can do anything, right?

About Our Company:

We are a growing consulting firm that specializes in finance & IT solutions. We are not your typical office environment – we are a small, energetic and entrepreneurial group of professionals. This position will be full-time out of our main headquarters located in (city redacted).

The Position:

•Office Support: Handle incoming & outgoing mail, create & maintain files, documents & databases, order & maintain office supplies, manage company calendar, including scheduling meetings & appointments, coordinate national & international travel, organize tradeshow/event activities, answer phones, etc.

•Finance Support: Audit employee/consultant expenses, create expense reports for president, invoice preparation & tracking, general business & personal bookkeeping, statement reconciliations, bill payment & tracking, etc.

•Executive Support: Manage the President’s calendar & email (via Outlook), book all travel, and take on a variety of projects requiring thorough research, data compilation, presentations & reports, etc.

And if this wasn’t enough to keep you busy, I was fairly amused by the following:

•Personal Support: Errand running, scheduling personal appointments, booking personal travel, occasional nanny duties for toddler, etc. (Bolding is mine.) In general, helping keep the executive’s life as organized and stress-free as possible.

Qualifications:

•Minimum 2 years of administrative experience
-Must include expense report (creation & auditing) and travel booking experience
-Consulting environment experience preferred
•Strong PC & Microsoft Office skills
•Accounting system experience a plus (QuickBooks or similar)
•Ability to smoothly handle quickly changing priorities, multi-tasking, and strong personalities
•Excellent written and verbal communication skills
•Favorable attributes: energetic, thick-skinned, flexible, adaptable, organized, motivated, detail-oriented, self-starter, works well under pressure

We offer our employees a competitive salary commensurate with experience. Our comprehensive benefits package includes company-paid medical, dental, vision, and life & disability coverage, and a 401(k) with company match. Other perks include espresso machine w/ accessories on site and casual business attire – flip flops & tee-shirts welcome!

So, here’s a dumb question — will they be paying three salaries? As I read the job description above, they’re looking for a secretary/accountant/nanny. Maybe it’s four jobs. After all, the successful applicant must also be available for “personal errands and support”. My other favorite part of this entire listing is the requirement that one must be “thick-skinned”.

Words fail me.

-S