It’s Christmas in almost-July: Gov. Sanford says he “crossed lines” with women other than his mistress

This guy is the gift that keeps on giving. I can hardly wait to wake up in the morning and find out what ridiculous thing he’s going to admit to NOW. In the meantime, I’m eagerly looking forward to Jon Stewart’s comments. Till then, we’ll amuse ourselves with the following…

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/sns-ap-us-sc-governor,0,1937442.story

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford said Tuesday that he “crossed lines” with a handful of women other than his mistress — but never had sex with them.

The governor said he “never crossed the ultimate line” with anyone but Maria Belen Chapur, the Argentine at the center of a scandal that has derailed his once-promising political career.

“This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story,” Sanford said. “A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day.”

During an emotional interview at his Statehouse office with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he’s trying to fall back in love with his wife.

He said that during the encounters with other women he “let his guard down” with some physical contact but “didn’t cross the sex line.” He wouldn’t go into detail.

Gosh. “Trying” to “fall back in love” with his wife? Mrs. Sanford, again, this is my personal opinion, but DUMP HIM! What more do you need? I’m sure his “soulmate” will be amused to note that she wasn’t alone, either.

Perhaps some of the female readers of TLPC that reside out of the USA could tell me what on earth is so compelling about this guy. He’s not especially handsome. His wife is (allegedly) the one with the money. He’s shown he’s not real smart, either. What is it? Please share with the class.

-S

Al Franken is named the winner of Minnesota’s Senate seat

Minnesota Supreme Court ruling, in minutes ago.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hEPoY9C7AF-mDuih3Wj7ogTKRZSgD99559CG0

Congratulations, Senator Franken, and Norm Coleman, why don’t you find a hobby?

-S

Wonder why this job’s open, huh?

Remember the good old days when looking for a job consisted of brushing up your resume, targeting a few companies, and persisting till you got an interview — and the job? Let’s just say that sleeping and having a personal life seem to be a thing of the past, too, according to this job listing posted today on a certain site.

I’m not quite sure how anyone could come close to fulfilling this job description in anything less than the 24 hours a day we each get. Then again, with enough espresso, one can do anything, right?

About Our Company:

We are a growing consulting firm that specializes in finance & IT solutions. We are not your typical office environment – we are a small, energetic and entrepreneurial group of professionals. This position will be full-time out of our main headquarters located in (city redacted).

The Position:

•Office Support: Handle incoming & outgoing mail, create & maintain files, documents & databases, order & maintain office supplies, manage company calendar, including scheduling meetings & appointments, coordinate national & international travel, organize tradeshow/event activities, answer phones, etc.

•Finance Support: Audit employee/consultant expenses, create expense reports for president, invoice preparation & tracking, general business & personal bookkeeping, statement reconciliations, bill payment & tracking, etc.

•Executive Support: Manage the President’s calendar & email (via Outlook), book all travel, and take on a variety of projects requiring thorough research, data compilation, presentations & reports, etc.

And if this wasn’t enough to keep you busy, I was fairly amused by the following:

•Personal Support: Errand running, scheduling personal appointments, booking personal travel, occasional nanny duties for toddler, etc. (Bolding is mine.) In general, helping keep the executive’s life as organized and stress-free as possible.

Qualifications:

•Minimum 2 years of administrative experience
-Must include expense report (creation & auditing) and travel booking experience
-Consulting environment experience preferred
•Strong PC & Microsoft Office skills
•Accounting system experience a plus (QuickBooks or similar)
•Ability to smoothly handle quickly changing priorities, multi-tasking, and strong personalities
•Excellent written and verbal communication skills
•Favorable attributes: energetic, thick-skinned, flexible, adaptable, organized, motivated, detail-oriented, self-starter, works well under pressure

We offer our employees a competitive salary commensurate with experience. Our comprehensive benefits package includes company-paid medical, dental, vision, and life & disability coverage, and a 401(k) with company match. Other perks include espresso machine w/ accessories on site and casual business attire – flip flops & tee-shirts welcome!

So, here’s a dumb question — will they be paying three salaries? As I read the job description above, they’re looking for a secretary/accountant/nanny. Maybe it’s four jobs. After all, the successful applicant must also be available for “personal errands and support”. My other favorite part of this entire listing is the requirement that one must be “thick-skinned”.

Words fail me.

-S

Grandpa and I are now the proud owners of a copy of “Beyond Heaving Bosoms”

It’s the weekend.  The sun’s out, we should have taken Moose to the offleash park, but somehow, we can’t make it out of the house right now. I’m sure this has something remotely to do with the fact that I’d better do some laundry, or I’ll have to go naked. And, really, who wants that?

One of the questions I’m most often asked when I discuss what I do is, “What does your family think of this?” You’d think that robbing banks (or spending time on a street corner in a pair of clear heels*,) would be morally preferable to writing romance novels. Yes, my family knows what I do. Obviously, it’s been up for discussion at holiday gatherings before. The Dauphin’s fine with it. It means a lot to me that he’s so supportive. Plus, there’s the research…

Grandma gave the whole thing her vote of approval after hearing a segment on NPR awhile ago featuring a historical romance author detailing her research process. Grandma was a little shocked that so much research is required. I had to explain one of the stranger cardinal rules of romance readers: Your research had better be impeccable, or you’re going to get irate letters/e-mails. This is not limited to historicals. (There are women who write romantic suspense that might have some comments on this subject. I write romantic comedy. I research stuff like the NFL’s team ownership rules, what happens when someone gets a concussion, etcetera.) The same readers who demand excruciatingly perfect research also sign off on alpha male heroes who are tender and gentle with the heroine. It’s all about suspension of belief.

Grandpa heard the authors of “Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels” on NPR the other day. (I sense a trend here.) He gave me a call to ask if I owned the book. I don’t. Well, I didn’t. Grandpa’s buying me a copy, which I am thrilled about. I’ve been reading the Smart Bitches, Trashy Books blog for a couple of years now, and I could hardly wait to read what Sarah and Candy have to say about the genre (besides what they write about daily!).  Plus, Candy is doing a book signing in Seattle tonight at 6:30 p.m. — she’ll be at Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park. Of course I’m going.

We all joke about the massive amounts of crap some of us have to put up with on a daily basis because we write, read (or both) romance novels. At the same time, I’m still a little amazed at it. Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte were romance authors; their books have been selling for hundreds of years now. There are authors currently working in the genre that I have no doubt people will be reading and enjoying THEIR work in fifty years. (See Jennifer Crusie, Julia Quinn, and probably Loretta Chase.)  Does the fact that their work has a happy ending make it less “serious”? I don’t think so. A book is a book, and it took the same blood, sweat and tears to write and publish “Lord of Scoundrels” as it did “Jane Eyre”, for instance.

When I’m not fielding questions, I’m still writing. I am in the midst of a book I have to finish by October 1st. I am still making strides on my path to publication. This will give our entire family a brand-new thing to worry about: Will they have to show up at the book signing in disguise?

-S

*homage to the great Chris Rock

Michael Jackson is dead

There’s been a commercial running lately with one of the Jackson 5’s old hits as the soundtrack. When these songs were released, the world was newer, the future was limitless, and we all had hope of a better tomorrow.

I don’t endorse Michael Jackson’s recent behavior. I do send my condolences to his children and his extended family.

-S

The best party-ending CD of all time: 70’s Party Killers

I realize it’s still June, but it’s never too early to start socking things away for the holidays. After all, a chance to get paybacks on your annoying in-laws, overbearing boss, the neighbor who thinks revving the car engine at 2 a.m. is a mating call… It’s priceless.

Those of us who grew up in the 70’s are well-acquainted with the hell that was music in those days. I’m not talking about the Who, Led Zeppelin and the Stones. (Bruce Springsteen made his appearance as well. LOVE him.) I’m talking about those songs that get stuck in your head to the extent that jabbing an ice pick through your eardrum is preferable to listening to one more minute.

All those songs on one CD? The mind boggles. Imagine how far the neighborhood teenagers will drive to get away from it. It’s better than that truck with a siren or the drum set you’d planned to give your nephews for Christmas, too! Without further ado, a track listing. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

http://www.rhino.com/store/ProductDetail.lasso?Number=75233

• Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Ole Oak Tree – Dawn
• The Night Chicago Died – Paper Lace
• Billy, Don’t Be A Hero – Bo Donaldson & The Heywoods
• (You’re) Having My Baby – Paul Anka with Odia Coates
• Playground In My Mind – Clint Holmes
• Feelings – Morris Albert
• Sometimes When We Touch – Dan Hill
• The Candy Man – Sammy Davis, Jr.
• Afternoon Delight – Starland Vocal Band
• Torn Between Two Lovers – Mary MacGregor
• Escape (The Pina Colada Song) – Rupert Holmes
• Muskrat Love – Captain & Tennille

The only way this could be better is the inclusion of “I’ve Never Been to Me” by Charlaine, and “Seasons in the Sun”. Then again, I suppose some mercy should be shown. I can’t be the only adult female who considers homicide everytime she happens to hear “(You’re) Havin’ My Baby,” either.

Think of the fun!

In the meantime, I have to go. I have to listen to AC/DC, loudly, till the earworms are a distant memory.

-S

Grover Norquist thinks Republican sex scandals makes their candidates appear more virile

Grover Norquist

So, ladies, what do you think, huh?

I had another title, but I would have to surrender my “clean blog” designation once and for all.

I love the smell of delusion in the morning. It smells like… the GOP. Grover Norquist thinks that chicks really go for candidates who think their marriage vows are just a suggestion.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/25/us/25repubs.html?_r=1&hp

“I disagree with the idea that this shows problems for the modern Republican Party,” said Grover Norquist, the president of Americans for Tax Reform, a group that applauded Mr. Sanford’s attempt to refuse some federal stimulus funds earlier this year. In reference to the fiscally conservative philosophies of Mr. Ensign and Mr. Sanford, he joked, “I think instead it shows that sexual attractiveness of limited-government conservatism.”

As television pundits noted on Wednesday, confessions by former Gov. Eliot Spitzer of New York that he had been involved with a prostitute and by former Gov. Jim McGreevey of New Jersey that he had been unfaithful to his wife with a gay lover did not hurt Democrats nationally, although both men resigned.

But other senior Republican strategists and leaders said they were concerned that their party’s large segment of evangelical voters makes the party more vulnerable to political damage from scandal, especially when it involves politicians like Mr. Sanford and Mr. Ensign, who had both been harshly critical of the infidelities of former President Bill Clinton and others.

“When we do these kinds of things like what happened with Ensign and now with Sanford it hurts our credibility as a party of good governing and of values,” said Ron Kaufman, a Republican lobbyist who is close to Mr. Romney. Mr. Kaufman is among those in his party who believe that the news that former Representative Mark Foley of Florida had sent sexually explicit e-mail messages to male Congressional pages cost the party in 2006 and 2008.

I wish I knew where to start. How about this? Their party affiliation is but one issue. “Party of good governing and of values?” Pardon me while I laugh till I cry. The GOP can’t govern its way out of a paper bag, and that was evident over the past eight years. Values? What values are those: “Screw them, I’ve got mine”?

In the meantime, it’s hard for me to imagine how these guys keep finding ANYONE to sleep with, let alone vote for them. Maybe I’m just too picky. Why wouldn’t any woman want to sleep with a guy that spends most of his public life proclaiming that sex is evil and dirty, then wants you to perform acts behind closed doors that are illegal in thirty-seven states? Then again, does this not explain the cognitive dissonance that is any GOP elected official or voter?

Mostly, I’m just left wondering to myself how someone like this manages to walk and chew gum at the same time. It must be quite a challenge.

-S

Run, Jenny, run: Governor Sanford’s wife makes a public statement

I did not cover this story due to the fact I believed it was a publicity stunt.  It’s even better than that. Obviously, the details are all over the media, so I’ll post this.

Governor Sanford’s wife, Jenny, has now made a public statement.  If I’m reading this correctly, she says she’s still interested in giving him a second chance. She’s joining the long pantheon of political wives who’ve done so. I do not understand this. Then again, it’s her life.

Without further ado, an excerpt of the statement, and all thanks to Talking Points Memo.

http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/news/2009/06/statement_from_first_lady_jenny_sanford_-_june_24.php

I believe wholeheartedly in the sanctity, dignity and importance of the institution of marriage. I believe that has been consistently reflected in my actions. When I found out about my husband’s infidelity I worked immediately to first seek reconciliation through forgiveness, and then to work diligently to repair our marriage.

We reached a point where I felt it was important to look my sons in the eyes and maintain my dignity, self-respect, and my basic sense of right and wrong. I therefore asked my husband to leave two weeks ago.

This trial separation was agreed to with the goal of ultimately strengthening our marriage. During this short separation it was agreed that Mark would not contact us. I kept this separation quiet out of respect of his public office and reputation, and in hopes of keeping our children from just this type of public exposure.

Because of this separation, I did not know where he was in the past week.

I believe enduring love is primarily a commitment and an act of will, and for a marriage to be successful, that commitment must be reciprocal. I believe Mark has earned a chance to resurrect our marriage.

Again, Mrs. Sanford, none of my beeswax, but you deserve better. Your kids deserve better.
My thoughts are with you during what must be hell on earth, and please know that every woman reading these words, Democratic, Republican or Independent, feels for you as well, and wishes nothing but the best for you and for your children.

-S

The Moose report, or Our adventures as dog owners

“Mooom! Give me the Kong! Just give it to me now!”

Photo: Strategerie

It’s been a week since I reported on the adventures of the World’s Smartest Lab. Let’s see what he’s been up to, shall we?

I just went downstairs after hearing a tremendous amount of noise and some doggie panting. (Tremendous amount of noise and doggie panting = Moose is doing something he really shouldn’t be.) Moose managed to wrap himself around the oh, seventy pound cat tree that sits on one side of our family room. If that wasn’t enough, he also entangled most of the blinds in there, too. I untangled him and gave him his Kong. After all, I must take a shower before we make our appearance at the vet’s this morning. After a lot of debating, we’re going ahead with the shot-that-has-its-own-brochure so he can go swimming at the dog park if he’d like.

Morning is Moose’s favorite time of the day. After all, I’m typically in my nightgown. While I was setting the family room to rights, Moose managed to stick his cold, wet nose in areas of my body that — well, let’s just say I invented some new dance steps a few minutes ago while pleading, “Moose, no! Moose, no! Stop that!”

In related news, all was quiet from the downstairs one day last week, so I believed our sweet boy was probably fast asleep on His Blanket.

Ooh, the blanket — well, what’s left of the blanket. We covered his crate with a throw we had around the house when Moose first moved in with us. To Moose, the blanket is a plaything. A chew toy. It comforts him when he needs a little alone time. He also tries to perform various carnal acts on the blanket, which clued us in that perhaps, it was time for a visit to the vet. The activity persists despite that visit. When all this is not going on, the blanket now looks like cobwebs. Of course, I’m torn. It’s obvious he needs another blanket, but is he going to react the same way I did as a child? My mom mentioned that I cried so much when my blanket “got lost” that neither of my younger sisters had one.

We are now minus one blind slat downstairs, which made quite a chew toy until it was taken away. The detachable hard drive also survived its close encounter with Moose.  The cat tree will require some restorative carpentry.

Moose came face-to-face with his feline brother, Oscar, yesterday. I’m happy to report that nobody was hurt. Oscar gave Moose the kitty equivalent of the middle finger and went back to hiding under my desk. Moose made no comment.

We’re planning a little get-together so all our family and friends can be dazzled by the miracle that is Moose meet our pup. We’ll take photos!

-S

Even Presidents have bad habits: Obama signs anti-smoking legislation

There’s lots in the news today. I’m not covering the apparent disappearance of Governor Sanford because I believe it to be a publicity stunt. I will talk about the following, though.

President Obama started smoking as a teenager. He’s been trying to quit ever since. Today, he signed the toughest anti-smoking law in our country’s history.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jv8mLJEJy5bdrh9RdyiPUOAYTUtwD98VVI3G4

Obama praised the historic legislation, which gives the Food and Drug Administration unprecedented authority to regulate what goes into tobacco products, to make public the ingredients and to prohibit marketing campaigns geared toward children.

But he didn’t say how his own struggle was coming since he moved into the White House. And aides were no more forthcoming.

As senator, candidate and now president, Obama has veered between frank and cagey about his personal battle with smoking.

He promised his wife, Michelle, more than two years ago that he would quit if she let him seek the White House.

Lamenting his first teenage cigarette, President Barack Obama ruefully admitted on Monday that he’s spent his adult life fighting the habit. Then he signed the nation’s toughest anti-smoking law, aiming to keep thousands of other teens from getting hooked.

I have plenty of bad habits, but luckily, this isn’t one of them. We don’t smoke. I never even tried it. (Growing up with a chain-smoking parent will do that.) We’ve known many people who had to quit, though, and some who are still attempting to quit. Therefore, it’s time for a TLPC sermonette to any teen who may read my craaazy blog.

Don’t smoke. Don’t even try it. There are adults all around you that had an awful time quitting. If they didn’t quit, they got cool stuff like lung cancer and heart disease. Smoking is not cool. It doesn’t make you look more grown-up. It’s expensive. It makes your clothes and hair and breath smell terrible. If all that wasn’t enough of a deterrent, those who thought they’d dodge the whole thing by using smokeless tobacco? Try mouth cancer.

This is the only product that’s manufactured solely to kill you. I know you think you’re going to dodge the bullet there, but you won’t. Just don’t do it.

Next week? Underage drinking and illicit substances.  Seriously, though, don’t be a dork. Isn’t there something better you’d like to spend your money on?

-S