Just assimilate now, and nobody will get hurt.
Today’s rant is brought to you as a result of my reading some kind of oh-so-hip-and-trenchant rant at www.huffingtonpost.com. It seems the woman who wrote it is just soooo tired of Starbucks, even though she goes there three times a week.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/beverly-tan/why-i-fcking-hate-starb_b_74324.html
After all these years, I’ve reached a very important conclusion: I’m a simple kind of girl. I like my produce plain and unadorned. Most days, I only wear sunblock and lipgloss. I have never owned a blow dryer. I truly believe that sunshine and a long walk does more for your spirits than any self-help book.
This, I suspect, is why I hate Starbucks. Oh, don’t get me wrong. 3 out of 7 days of the week, you will probably find me at a Starbucks. I wish I could be more militant about it, and be one of those people brews their tea at home to bring to work. But I don’t. I’m lazy. And Starbucks is so ubiquitous.
First of all, I’d love to reassure my readers that I’m as low-maintenance as the writer above, but I’m not. Despite spending most days in jeans and a t-shirt or sweater (depending on the season,) I own a blow dryer. I wear makeup. I like pedicures. You’d think to yourself I’d be in Starbucks every morning ordering my split-shot non-fat soy latte with whip, sprinkles, and a soupcon of cinnamon, wouldn’t you? Nope. If and when I order a latte, it’s short, non-fat, and I’m done. I prefer tea. I actually prefer the tangerine Frappucino, which is now unavailable to me. As a result, I’m currently feuding with Howard Schultz, but it’s a completely benign, one-sided kind of a thing.
Back to the rant.
Of course, we all know that Starbucks is an evil corporate monolith that must be stopped at all cost. They are destroying the Maxwell House/Folger’s coffee ethic of our society. How dare we drink lattes when there’s coffee at McDonald’s (at alleged flesh-melting temps to boot!) for a dollar? Since I’m not a big coffee drinker, I’ll tell you why I like Starbucks, and it has nothing to do with anything that has to be drawn or steamed.
Starbucks pays health insurance premiums for part-time employees. This may not seem like a big deal, but for those who can’t afford it, it’s huge. They offer educational reimbursement to their employees that qualify. There’s a volunteerism program that’s administered on the corporate level. If I read their fact sheet correctly, employees are paid their hourly rate by the company to participate in volunteer efforts in their community. Starbucks has made an effort companywide to offer fair trade coffee, to assist those in other nations to grow and sell their coffee crops, and to encourage recycling at their stores in the USA. You’re not going to get rich working at Starbucks, but you’ll get paid. In an age in which it’s popular to shaft one’s employees, they seem to go out of their way to be responsible corporate citizens, and be an example to others on how important it is to value those who work for them.
I also don’t buy the “pretentious” argument. I live in the Seattle area. We re-invented coffee, and there are people here who think they are the only ones who can possibly appreciate it. Truthfully, I’ve gotten more ‘tude walking into privately-owned coffee related businesses here than I’ve ever seen in a Starbucks. I’ve listened to people who have a $1400 espresso machine at home turn their noses up at the poor unwashed that still insist on drinking drip coffee, so please don’t tell me that Starbucks is pretentious. Frankly, I like walking into a Starbucks anywhere in the world, because I know what I’m going to get. I’m not going to get a faceful if I want to order an iced tea or a Frappucino thing. Nobody will mock me because I’m not ordering the correct, bleeding-edge and tragically hip coffee variety they prefer. They’ll actually be nice, and they don’t mind if I ask for a recommendation if I’m bringing coffee or a little gifty thing to someone else.
There may be a Starbucks on every corner in the United States, and all over the world. They may be taking over, or not. They succeed because they’re offering something people seem to want in the marketplace — a nice place to get a cuppa’ with a friend. Somewhere good to pull out one’s laptop and have a snack while working. An experience that’s always friendly, affordable, accessible, and convenient. A corporate atmosphere I’d like to support and encourage.
I like them, and nobody paid me to say any of the above.
-S
