California’s Supreme Court overturns the ban on gay marriage

This print hangs in my office. It’s a photograph of the rice-and-rose-petal strewn steps of San Francisco’s City Hall during the time same-sex couples were allowed to marry in February of 2004.

To say that I am thrilled by the following is an understatement. Two adults choosing to commit themselves to each other, legally and publicly, does not (and couldn’t ever, for that matter,) diminish our union. 

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2004415750_apgaymarriage.html

In its 4-3 ruling, the Republican-dominated high court struck down state laws against same-sex marriage and said domestic partnerships that provide many of the rights and benefits of matrimony are not enough.

“In contrast to earlier times, our state now recognizes that an individual’s capacity to establish a loving and long-term committed relationship with another person and responsibly to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual’s sexual orientation,” Chief Justice Ronald George wrote for the majority in ringing language that delighted gay rights activists.

I’m delighted as well.

The Dauphin was raised by his uncle Steve and his partner, Stephen. His parents were unsuited to the task. Luckily, Steve and Stephen did their best. They were together for over twenty years. They couldn’t marry. The hoops they jumped through to own property, make health care decisions, and just get through a day aren’t even a second thought for heterosexuals who marry and are automatically afforded the over one thousand protections a marriage certificate offers in our country.

One of the better phone calls we’ve ever gotten to make was to a florist a short distance from San Francisco’s City Hall in February of 2004. We sent a bouquet to someone waiting in line at City Hall to marry their partner during the short time the mayor of San Francisco was able to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. We’ll never know who got the flowers we sent, but I wish we’d been there to see it.

Here’s to those who now have hope that their union can be recognized, and to those who worked hard to make this finally happen.

-S

The Maxim Top 100 list of hottest women is out

Derek Jeter, because I’d rather look at him than whomever it is that’s Number One.

The readers of TLPC depend on me for this kind of information. Who am I to disappoint?

http://www.maxim.com/index.aspx

There’s one small problem, though: I’m not on this year’s list. I’m sure that everyone who knows me realizes what an outrageous miscarriage of justice this is. After all, anyone can date a gorgeous blonde (or brunette, or redhead). I have something more: Dazzling wit. Personality. I enjoy (and can converse on the subject without embarrassing myself,) sports. I know my way around a kitchen. Plus, I’ll beat you like a rented mule at poker.

What more could any man want? Well, besides that whole “I’ve never had to go to rehab” thing, or the whole non-high-maintenance thing?

I should also mention that Derek Jeter has supposedly dated six of the women on this list. That’s only because he hasn’t met my friend Kristan yet, whom he’s doomed to spending the rest of his life pining over.

So there.

-S

Lofa Tatupu of the Seattle Seahawks arrested on suspicion of DUI

Photo: www.seahawks.com

Lofa Tatupu and teammates get ready to take the field

Lofa Tatupu, the Seahawks’ defensive captain and Pro Bowl linebacker, was arrested over the weekend for suspicion of DUI. He blew twice the legal limit two hours after he was initially stopped, according to the police report.  

http://media.thenewstribune.com/smedia/2008/05/13/16/tatupu.source.prod_affiliate.5.pdf 

Thanks to Frank Hughes from the Tacoma News Tribune for posting it.

I realize it is nothing new for a distressing number of professional football players to get arrested. There have been 26 NFL players arrested since the start of the offseason, for instance. At the same time, the above throws me for a loop. I’ve written here before about Seahawks GM Tim Ruskell’s “high character” player selection process. If the guy isn’t all that in his personal life, he’s not coming to Seattle to play, period. Along with Michael from Seahawk Addicts, (www.seahawkaddicts.com,) I’m wondering what’s going on in Kirkland right now. We’ve had two veteran players arrested in less than a month, and one vet that’s holding out for more money.

The vets provide mentorship and an example to the younger guys. No, one does not have to be a thug to play pro football — they’re modeling by word and deed how important it is to be an example to others. When they’re unable to provide that example, though, what’s happening to the previous “character” emphasis? I have one more word I’d like to throw out here: Responsibility.

Like it or not, those who play professional sports have a responsibility to their community. The NFL wants to tout the charitable foundations and the volunteer work their players do. It’s good PR. This PR is wiped out, however, when guys who make several hundred thousand dollars a year (minimum,) do stuff like get behind the wheel of a car while drunk and endanger not only the passengers in that car, but those who are also on the road with them. There are too many other alternatives now for those who are in no shape to drive: Call a cab. Call a tow truck – they’ll take both you and your car home. Hire a car service for the evening. Designate a driver.

I realize it’s unreasonable for me to expect a twenty-five year old man who will make more money in his career than most will make in a lifetime to be anything but human. At the same time, drunk driving is one of my hot buttons. My family was hit by a drunk driver when my youngest sister was in utero. The Dauphin lost a sibling to another drunk driver. As a result, I don’t get behind the wheel of a car after one drink. When our professional football team screens for “character”, but can’t seem to impress on a player as prominent as Lofa Tatupu that perhaps there was a better decision to be made last Saturday night in Kirkland, have we learned anything at all? (I’d also like to know why the server in the establishment Mr. Tatupu was visiting was still serving him. It’s illegal in Washington to continue serving someone who’s intoxicated.)

In the interest of fairness, I will also post Lofa Tatupu’s statement on the matter:

“I want to apologize to my family, teammates, the Seahawks ownership and organization, and the fans for making a poor decision and putting myself in a bad situation. I take seriously my role as a leader on this team, and in the community, and because of that I’m disappointed and embarrassed by the level of poor judgment I used last weekend. Thankfully, nobody was hurt. This will never happen again, and I hope through hard work on and off the field to begin earning your respect and trust again.”

I’m disappointed.

-S

Happy Mother’s Day, and a few words about my mom

All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.

-Abraham Lincoln

I’ve written about my mom on TLPC before. At the same time, there are not sufficient words in the English language to describe how much I will always love her.

My mom Evelyn was barely past her twenty-first birthday when she had me. She was a homemaker, and her whole world was my dad and their three daughters. She lived a very quiet life. At the same time, she wanted us to see the things she never did. My mom was the most generous, compassionate person I’ve ever known, and she tried to teach those lessons as well. She is my conscience, still.

My mom’s been gone since January 16, 1991, but she is with me to this day. There are so many things I wish I could talk with her about; for instance, she never met The Dauphin. She wasn’t at our wedding. I wasn’t able to tell her any of the things that have happened over the past seventeen years. At the same time, I’ve always had the oddest feeling that she knew, and she approved.

As so many of you get the crayoned pictures, the boxes of candy, flowers or dinner out today, please know: You do the most important job in the world. There is nothing on this earth that can top the achievement of carrying, giving birth to, and bringing up a child that becomes a happy, successful adult. You make our world a better place.

-S

Another sobering reminder from CNN that there’s hunger in America

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/05/10/hill.us.food.crisis.cnn?iref=videosearch

The video speaks for itself.

Today, letter carriers around the country will be collecting food for local food banks. If you put a bag of canned/non-perishable food out at the mailbox before your mail’s dropped off for the day, they’ll make sure it gets to the right place. Thanks to the USPS for organizing this.

If you’d like more information, please go to http://www.nalc.org/commun/foodrive/index.html

-S

To the mattresses: It’s time to take taxpayer-paid health insurance away from elected officials

I enjoyed this morning’s article at Firedoglake about John McCain’s proposed ”health care plan”. After all, the marketplace will keep prices low. Right. If he believes that, I can get him a deal on the Brooklyn Bridge. If you’d like to read something that’ll get your blood pressure up, please go to http://firedoglake.com/2008/05/08/mccains-ideology-collapses-in-the-emergency-room/#more-23343 .

In the meantime, this brings me to a subject that I have been thinking about for quite some time now.

We will get no resolution to the health care nightmare in this country until those who make policy and law (and accept campaign contributions from those in the industry,) are stripped of their taxpayer paid, 100% coverage health care insurance. Let them obtain (and pay for,) their own health insurance. They will never understand what it is like for the average American to pay for health care until they are doing it themselves.

Congresspeople don’t pay co-pays. They don’t pay premiums. It’s all taken care of, and to my immediate knowledge, that coverage extends to their families as well. Question: Why should those who work for us have better health care than we do?

I realize that there are elected officials that are fighting like hell to bring change in this area. I’m not discounting their efforts, and I’m sorry if they are inconvenienced by the above, but there is no other workable solution. There is nothing that will make some of these people understand the toll on the average underinsured or uninsured American than facing a huge premium bill each month, dealing with how he or she is going to pay for several hundred dollars’ worth of prescriptions each month for a chronic illness, or the reality that they may need a surgery that could run into the hundreds of thousands of dollars to simply stay alive.

I’m not sure how to do this. I’m not sure if it could even happen. At the same time, I am sure that the blogosphere needs to start looking into this, and they need to take action. I’ve asked repeatedly for the Republicans who parrot “government handouts” and “let the market decide” to give up their taxpayer-funded health insurance, but they won’t do it voluntarily. Let’s take it away from them, and let them discover what it’s like to know they’re one serious illness away from bankruptcy in America.

Suggestions? Comments? Ideas?

-S

Are you in a mixed marriage/domestic partnership?

My friend Pattie sent me an e-mail a few hours ago and recounted a conversation she’d had this morning with the man of her dreams, otherwise known as her significant other, Ralph. Pattie’s an Obama supporter. Ralph thinks Hillary Clinton should have the job. I’m not going to repost their conversation — after all, she didn’t encourage me to do that. She did suggest, however, that it might be a good blog post.

How are you dealing with the election at your house? Are you ignoring it? Do you and your significant other have a differing opinion on who’s best to run the country? How are you coping with this? Are there arguments? If there aren’t, is your spouse or partner now giving you the silent treatment, or have they put you on their candidate’s mailing list? (Call me if they leaflet and post yard signs in the master bathroom…)

The Dauphin and I were both Edwards supporters. We aren’t nuts about any of the three remaining candidates. I will hold my nose and vote for whomever makes it through the Democratic Texas Steel Cage Death Match, otherwise known as the primaries. I’m fairly sure his opinion is the same. We’ve had a few discussions about the election, but mostly, we’re apathetic.

I’m not sure I could live with a trash-talking spouse. We’ve had disagreements over candidates in the past, but we put the kibosh on the whole nastygram thing. (Well, till football season. The Dauphin was a 49ers fan when he was a kid. Our house is a Seahawks 12th Man stronghold.)

So, if you’re living in a mixed marriage, how are you dealing? What are your suggestions on coping? Let’s be there for each other, huh?

-S

“Mrs. Perfect” is out today!

My friend Jane’s book hits the shelves today, and her book release party is tonight. Going to a book release party is always a treat. Someone has realized her dream, and the rest of us get to party right along with her!

I read “Mrs. Perfect” almost a month and a half ago when I got an advance reader’s copy in the mail from Jane. I loved it. Her main character, Taylor Young, seems to have it all - or does she? Taylor learns some lessons that are very up-to-the-minute about what’s important in life, and who your friends are.

I wait for Jane’s books. Her characters leap off the pages of her books and lodge in your heart. Their struggles and triumphs are recognizable to all women, because they are the things that all women wrestle with: Family. Friends. Career. Cramming thirty hours of activity into the twenty-four hours a day we’re all given. Love. Loss. Falling in love again.

This is the best book Jane’s written yet. I wonder how she’s going to top herself, and she’s still doing it.

Congratulations, Jane! I am so happy for you. I know this book will fly off the shelves!

-S

p.s. If you’d like your own copy of “Mrs. Perfect”, please go to http://www.amazon.com/Mrs-Perfect-Jane-Porter/dp/0446699241/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1210112207&sr=1-1

Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson have announced their engagement

I’m sure the actual engagement ring involved is MUCH larger than the above. If you’d like to see more like this, though, please go to www.tiffany.com

Two thoughts:

1. Is Jerry Jones on suicide watch right now?
2. Will Mr. Romo end up getting traded over this?

Congratulations to the happy couple. In the meantime, Dallas Cowboys fans everywhere brace for that 1-16 season.

-S 

Even the insured are feeling the pinch, aren’t they?

It’s Cinco de Mayo. My presence has been requested at two different celebrations this evening, so I’ll be making preparation to head out fairly soon. If you celebrate, have fun, but always remember that designated driver. We want you back here tomorrow and every day!

Liz, one of my readers, sends me great articles every day. I knew I had to post the following, because we’re feeling it, too.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/04/business/04insure.html?_r=1&pagewanted=1&hp&oref=slogin

Many of the 158 million people covered by employer health insurance are struggling to meet medical expenses that are much higher than they used to be — often because of some combination of higher premiums, less extensive coverage, and bigger out-of-pocket deductibles and co-payments.

With medical costs soaring, the coverage many people have may not adequately protect them from the financial shock of an emergency room visit or a major surgery. For some, even routine doctor visits might now take a back seat to basic expenses like food and gasoline.

“It just keeps eating into people’s income,” said James Corbin, a former union official who works for the local utility in Tucson.

Mr. Corbin said that under their employer’s health plan, he and his co-workers are now obliged to pay up to $4,000 of their families’ annual medical bills, on top of about $1,600 a year in premiums. Five years ago, they paid no premiums and were responsible for only about $2,000 of their families’ medical bills.

“That’s a big jump,” Mr. Corbin said. “You’ve just lost a month’s pay.”

The Dauphin and I talked a little about this yesterday. People are slowly but surely losing the things that people in smaller, poorer nations take for granted, and one of those is access to affordable health care. This may not seem like a big deal till you’re facing down medical bills you have little resources to pay.

We are at the point when the gatekeepers at insurance companies (and those who allow or disallow the uninsured to get treatment,) determine who lives or dies. Are you comfortable with this?

-S